Part of being an Army wife is dealing with deployment. It's not easy for anyone, but for me I feel like it will be completely terrible the second time around. Kirk was deployed to Afghanistan this time last year and was deployed until right before our wedding. My heart ached so much while he was gone, especially when I had to say goodbye to him at the airport. I hardly stopped crying that day. The only thing that made it bearable when he was gone was the fact that I lived with three of my best friends, lived in the same city as my Aunt and Uncle, and I flew home to Virginia fairly often for family events/wedding planning. I was surrounded by people who loved me and supported me pretty much all the time...
One of my many flaws is that I dread or worry about things WAY in advance...I am already dreading Kirk's next deployment. He is scheduled to possibly deploy next spring or summer of 2013. With the military, you never really know if it's definite until closer to the time, but I think Kirk and his unit are fairly positive this deployment will be happening. I keep hoping they are wrong and that a lot will change in the next year so that they won't have to deploy... but I don't want to get my hopes up. For some reason, I am especially sad about it today. I'm not sure why it's hitting me so hard today except for the fact that Kirk is away for the next 5-6 days for gunnery training and I am getting a taste of what life will be like without my hubby around.
Last year when he was deployed, I wasn't forced to come home to an empty house or deal with day-to-day life without him at home because we didn't live together yet and were used to doing long distance. So in some ways, it felt "normal" to not be around him. But now that I am used to having him around and spending every moment with him when he's not working... I don't know how I will cope when it's just me holding down the fort. I was doing laundry today, folding and putting away his PT clothes and just started crying because I realized that next year I won't be doing that. His ACUs won't need washing, his boots won't be by the door and he won't be snoring next to me at night. I know you're thinking I am completely crazy for thinking about all this so soon. TRUST me, I know it's ridiculous, but I can't help it! Unfortunately, it's what I do and it's something I'm trying to work on--to not worry about things so far in the future.
What I do know is that I need to cherish every moment he is here. We have a wonderful year ahead of us and I can't wait for every second of it. We'll deal with deployment when it comes. For now, we'll enjoy this year being together! Today may be hard, but tomorrow will be better. I'll go awhile without thinking about all of this and then it will hit me again randomly. I knew what I was getting myself into when I married my soldier and I will never regret it. I admire him for what he does on a daily basis and couldn't be more proud of him. My mom offered for me to come back home the next time he was deployed... part of me really wants to take her up on that...
-MB
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
back to what we call home
Kirk and I had the wonderful opportunity to go home for about two weeks for Christmas. It was fabulous. We went to all of our favorite American restaurants including: Chipotle, Sweet Water Tavern, Panera, Starbucks, Manhatten Bagel (hadn't had a bagel since I've been in Germany), and Chik-fil-A. As much as we love our mothers' home-cooked meals, we had to opt out a few times so we could get in all of our USA favs. Was that rude?
Aside from loving the American grub, we absolutely loved being with our friends and family. It was a much needed break from Army life (for Kirk) and housewife life (for me). Living in Germany has been and will continue to be a wonderful and unique opportunity for us as a couple and as individuals, but we definitely miss the comfort of home and the time with friends and family...
There is something so special about sitting on the couch with my mom and just catching up. I also cherish our time spent shopping together and getting mani/pedi's. Spending quality time with our siblings is always so fun and reminds me of how blessed we are to have such tight bonds with our brothers and sisters. Seeing our nephew reach new milestones (like rolling over) is so incredible and makes me wish that I could be there for ALL of his milestones. I'm jealous that my mom will get to hear him babble his first words, chase him around the house when he starts crawling, and eventually watch him take his first steps. We hate being the Aunt and Uncle that live so far away. But, I guess we have to look at in a different light. We will be in little Britton's life during some very influential years once we move back to the States. For now, we should soak up our opportunities and be grateful to God for presenting them.
That is easier said than done though sometimes. At times, I look at living in Germany as an annoyance, a hassle, a stressful circumstance. BUT, I also look at living here as a blessing, an adventure, and a time to learn how to live outside my comfort zone (which I think everyone should do every once in awhile). Yes it was SO nice to be able to speak to the employees in Target and ask questions if I wanted to. (side note: I did ask a Target employee where the shoe section was JUST because I could....In Germany I would walk around forever until I found what I was looking for because I wouldn't know how to ask). But, it forces me to learn and stretch myself when I want to communicate in German. I could go on and on about the pros and cons of living in Germany but I'll save that for another post. When it comes down to it -- I love the new "normal" that we've created here, I just wish our friends and family could share it with us!
Kirk and I slept in WAY too late today and that is the reason we are both still up at 2:52AM. I guess we should start hittin' the hay... I'll leave you all (and by "all" I mean the one person that follows me) with a picture of our sweet nephew, Britton who just started on solid foods over Christmas break! Yay for Britty :)
-MB
Aside from loving the American grub, we absolutely loved being with our friends and family. It was a much needed break from Army life (for Kirk) and housewife life (for me). Living in Germany has been and will continue to be a wonderful and unique opportunity for us as a couple and as individuals, but we definitely miss the comfort of home and the time with friends and family...
There is something so special about sitting on the couch with my mom and just catching up. I also cherish our time spent shopping together and getting mani/pedi's. Spending quality time with our siblings is always so fun and reminds me of how blessed we are to have such tight bonds with our brothers and sisters. Seeing our nephew reach new milestones (like rolling over) is so incredible and makes me wish that I could be there for ALL of his milestones. I'm jealous that my mom will get to hear him babble his first words, chase him around the house when he starts crawling, and eventually watch him take his first steps. We hate being the Aunt and Uncle that live so far away. But, I guess we have to look at in a different light. We will be in little Britton's life during some very influential years once we move back to the States. For now, we should soak up our opportunities and be grateful to God for presenting them.
That is easier said than done though sometimes. At times, I look at living in Germany as an annoyance, a hassle, a stressful circumstance. BUT, I also look at living here as a blessing, an adventure, and a time to learn how to live outside my comfort zone (which I think everyone should do every once in awhile). Yes it was SO nice to be able to speak to the employees in Target and ask questions if I wanted to. (side note: I did ask a Target employee where the shoe section was JUST because I could....In Germany I would walk around forever until I found what I was looking for because I wouldn't know how to ask). But, it forces me to learn and stretch myself when I want to communicate in German. I could go on and on about the pros and cons of living in Germany but I'll save that for another post. When it comes down to it -- I love the new "normal" that we've created here, I just wish our friends and family could share it with us!
Kirk and I slept in WAY too late today and that is the reason we are both still up at 2:52AM. I guess we should start hittin' the hay... I'll leave you all (and by "all" I mean the one person that follows me) with a picture of our sweet nephew, Britton who just started on solid foods over Christmas break! Yay for Britty :)
-MB
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Lost In Translation
Yep... I've started a blog folks. I don't even really know where to begin. I guess I'll start with the purpose of this blog...I suppose it is to publish my life experiences, hardships, memories, thoughts, etc. Since my move to Germany, there have been several times I have wanted to write down something funny that has happened, or even something frustrating so that I can look back on it. I haven't made it a point to buy a journal yet, so maybe the blog will do the job! I have also had numerous people tell me to start a blog so they can keep up with me. So... here goes...
So, my first full day here in Amberg, Germany was September 15th. Kirk didn't have much food in the house yet which meant I needed to venture out in our new town and find some breakfast. Because of my anxiety related to the language barrier, I probably walked past 6 different bakeries until I had enough courage to go in one and try to communicate with them. Luckily the word for "croissant" in German is"croissant"... Why I was so worried? I don't know.. maybe because it was my first day in a foreign land alone.. but I look back and laugh at myself now.. so it's ok if you do too.
Anyways, occasionally we run into Germans who know some English. The younger people typically do because they have to learn it in school. This past Monday, I went to the bakery across the street to order a croissant of course. I confidently told the worker, "ein croissant bitte"...meaning "one croissant please". I also pointed to the one I was referring to. She then replied, "that has ham and cheese in it."......Oh.... Good.... She knows English. My first day here I would've been ecstatic that she knew English! But this time I was thinking, hey! What makes you think I'm American? I just spoke German to you! Is it the fact that I'm wearing athletic clothing and no German women here ever wear baseball hats and workout pants? Or is it because of my non-European looking face? Or perhaps my not-so-perfect German accent?! I wish it were my clothing...but I'm pretty sure it was my accent and she just decided she would do me a favor... That's what I get for trying to fit in. All I get is their pity... they just spare me the trouble and talk to me in my own language. Tell me how this will help me learn German. It won't. Anyways, we continued our conversation in English...I figured since she was on a roll with her English I'd get her to describe another pastry for me. And she did...very well actually. Good for her.
Another language doozy: I wanted to try the "caramel frappe" from my new favorite coffee joint: The Beanery... and I tried to ask them if there was coffee in it. I don't know how the cafe's work in Europe...their drinks could be all different for all I know.. My point in asking this was to MAKE SURE there was coffee in it... He took it the wrong way of course along with thinking I wanted not one frappe, but TWO. And he whipped me up two frozen drinks without coffee in them that tasted like caramel milk. And when he put two up on the counter I was like, "two?" (with a confused face, and held up my fingers because two fingers means two in every country.. right?) hah. anyways, he then understood that I only needed one... I mean duh dude! I'm not gonna drink two huge frappes BY MYSELF... This was actually my first "lost in translation" episode... I'm sure there will be more to come.
So many people have told me to just dive into the culture and that's ALWAYS the best way to learn the language...false. I haven't learned a lick of German by having Germans talk at me. They can talk at me all day and I'll never know what they're saying unless I study the language.. anyone else with me? I guess I'm not an auditory learner...
Anyways, I am finding it very humbling to be here in Deutschland. It is definitely odd to walk around and not understand what people are saying around you. I guess it makes it easy not to eavesdrop... It's hard to walk into a store and not really feel comfortable asking for help. It is frustrating and discouraging to be talked to in German and literally not have a CLUE what they are saying. It's easy to take for granted the ease of communication in America. That is one thing I look forward to when I go home for Christmas... being able to walk into any store, restaurant, or person's home and be understood. It will be refreshing. I look forward to the day when I don't have these anxieties or problems with the language. Thanks to a computer program similar to Rosetta Stone that my sweet mother-in-law gave me, I am on my way to learning German! Let the journey begin...
-MB
So, my first full day here in Amberg, Germany was September 15th. Kirk didn't have much food in the house yet which meant I needed to venture out in our new town and find some breakfast. Because of my anxiety related to the language barrier, I probably walked past 6 different bakeries until I had enough courage to go in one and try to communicate with them. Luckily the word for "croissant" in German is"croissant"... Why I was so worried? I don't know.. maybe because it was my first day in a foreign land alone.. but I look back and laugh at myself now.. so it's ok if you do too.
Anyways, occasionally we run into Germans who know some English. The younger people typically do because they have to learn it in school. This past Monday, I went to the bakery across the street to order a croissant of course. I confidently told the worker, "ein croissant bitte"...meaning "one croissant please". I also pointed to the one I was referring to. She then replied, "that has ham and cheese in it."......Oh.... Good.... She knows English. My first day here I would've been ecstatic that she knew English! But this time I was thinking, hey! What makes you think I'm American? I just spoke German to you! Is it the fact that I'm wearing athletic clothing and no German women here ever wear baseball hats and workout pants? Or is it because of my non-European looking face? Or perhaps my not-so-perfect German accent?! I wish it were my clothing...but I'm pretty sure it was my accent and she just decided she would do me a favor... That's what I get for trying to fit in. All I get is their pity... they just spare me the trouble and talk to me in my own language. Tell me how this will help me learn German. It won't. Anyways, we continued our conversation in English...I figured since she was on a roll with her English I'd get her to describe another pastry for me. And she did...very well actually. Good for her.
Another language doozy: I wanted to try the "caramel frappe" from my new favorite coffee joint: The Beanery... and I tried to ask them if there was coffee in it. I don't know how the cafe's work in Europe...their drinks could be all different for all I know.. My point in asking this was to MAKE SURE there was coffee in it... He took it the wrong way of course along with thinking I wanted not one frappe, but TWO. And he whipped me up two frozen drinks without coffee in them that tasted like caramel milk. And when he put two up on the counter I was like, "two?" (with a confused face, and held up my fingers because two fingers means two in every country.. right?) hah. anyways, he then understood that I only needed one... I mean duh dude! I'm not gonna drink two huge frappes BY MYSELF... This was actually my first "lost in translation" episode... I'm sure there will be more to come.
So many people have told me to just dive into the culture and that's ALWAYS the best way to learn the language...false. I haven't learned a lick of German by having Germans talk at me. They can talk at me all day and I'll never know what they're saying unless I study the language.. anyone else with me? I guess I'm not an auditory learner...
Anyways, I am finding it very humbling to be here in Deutschland. It is definitely odd to walk around and not understand what people are saying around you. I guess it makes it easy not to eavesdrop... It's hard to walk into a store and not really feel comfortable asking for help. It is frustrating and discouraging to be talked to in German and literally not have a CLUE what they are saying. It's easy to take for granted the ease of communication in America. That is one thing I look forward to when I go home for Christmas... being able to walk into any store, restaurant, or person's home and be understood. It will be refreshing. I look forward to the day when I don't have these anxieties or problems with the language. Thanks to a computer program similar to Rosetta Stone that my sweet mother-in-law gave me, I am on my way to learning German! Let the journey begin...
-MB
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